VooDoo23-Skedoo.  Hornets Hash

We were ablaze with our yellow and teal- Hornets fans all.  Hares Elementary My Dear Twatson and Mentor Hare Skin Whistle led the spirited bunch up around and over our favorite sports venues.  A mile and a half of stairs, ramps, parking lots and tailgate areas of the Superdome and the New Orleans Center we were RIGHT BACK AT START, for CP3's sake. 

On-on into the Warehouse district, zigging and zagging around the, um, warehouses and stuff.  Oh yeah, we dodged a rumbling streetcar and went around Lee Circle to finally see the blessed BN.  After a few beers and seven hours of waiting for Wee-Blow Master and Temporary Lewinski, we were off again.  Those rascally rabbits led us behind the convention center, through the Port of New Orleans, until Lack-a-Virgin, Hey! and Dock CousteauASD were suddenly accosted by an overzealous Port o' NOLA jimmylegs. He had no problem with flour on the deck- it was the CHALK he detested. So we were forbidden to mark trail.  Say it ain't so!!!  By the time the fuzz let those noble hounds go, No Cunt-Troll, Tidy Bowl Man, Show Me Your Posse and Tandy Ass had taken over trail blazin.  Everyone regrouped, but ALAS they were being followed by the sly ol' cop and poor Wee-Blow, Lewinski, Dental Dam-zel and Fill Me Up (who were walkin') had no sage advice to follow!

Trail came out at the Hilton at Poydras and led the bunch back through the CBD to Lafayette Square for Circle.  Dental and Dock pleasured the crowd with a Hornets special down-down punch, Sierra Mist and HYPNOTIC!  Blue bliss!   Hares drank for a relatively okay trail.  FRB was No Cunt-Troll, DFLs were Wee-Blow and Lewinski.  No virgins or visitors this time.  Wee-Blow was awarded his name necklace and Elementary MDT was given his 5 hash candle.  Everybody drank till the beer was nearly gone.  Religion, more bs-ing, and more drinking.  On-Out!

VooDoo22- *un for the Roses (Dental trashes her own trail)

Ahhhhh.... Jazzfest.  Where else can  you drink with ten thousand of your closest friends, listen to a four-hour set of Widespread Panic and then HASH WITH THE VOODOO?!!!

Dental Dam-zel thought she'd take it easy on the weary fest-ers and do a simple trail to continue the buzz of the beautiful afternoon.  Minutes and seconds of research on the Kentucky Derby gave ideas for naming the various points along the trail.  Hashers met at the Saddling Paddock at the Fairgrounds (okay on the street corner at the exit)  where ponies, jockeys and other strange folk gathered to watch No Cunt-troll don a rather scary piece of gear... photos to follow. I just can't describe it. 

The call of the wild... a sonorous "On-On," carried over the crowd.  Hark!  It was Pussy Rican and Wakes Me When It's Over from El Paso!  The sound attracted hashers from far and wide. Like the bluebirds flocking to Snow White's whistle came Back Snatch and some other dude from DC's White House Hash.  Up popped some local VooDoo Virgins- Coulda Tubed Ya and Pastor Bait-her.  DD announced "Riders Up!" and we were on-on to the Walking Circle.

After a grueling three blocks, the Derby Debutantes came upon a wonderful sight  BN- but lo! it wasn't Beer- it was BOURBON!!!  DD made a heavenly concoction of Mint Juleps for the thirsty bunch.  Coupled with some Derby Pies, the juleps made for a sugar high like no other!  Wee-blow Master and Temporary Lewinski missed the paddock butmade walking circle- hooray! Liuzza's couldn't handle this saucy bunch for long, so we finished the cocktails and commenced the Parade to Post.  Along the way, we stopped for a blessing at the Shrine of Our Lady of Perpetual Crawfish, which WMWIO proceeded to defile.  Poor lil' mannequin in shrimpin boots. 

Several feisty ponies paraded right on past post and were disqualified from official Derby entry.  The bugle sounded (okay, it was a bullhorn) and the contenders were off.  DD attempted to call the race, but the darkness prevented her from realizing that the early starters were being awarded Win, Place and Show!!

Circle was held on the Cabrini HS bridge over Bayou St. John.  Formal stuff:  we already talked about the visitors and voodoo virgins, FRB- Lack A Virgin, Hey!  FBI- No Cunt-troll  DFL- Elbow F*ck My Brother.  Costume contest winners-  Best Hat- Skin Whistle, Best Costume- No Cunt-troll, Overall Style Points- Temporary Lewinski.  Several stragglers (Vette Gina and Gay Lord) showed up and pissed off the circle by bringing a lovely looking but EMPTY box of pizza.  Holy hammered hashers!  Beers were drunk, songs were sung, and On-After was a debacle.  DD got everyone kicked out of Witt's Inn for refusing to leave her pie in the car. 

 

 

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